The Banquet Beliar

A stiff gift bag of adequate size selected as the base. A box’s edge fashioned into a hinged trap. The short side of the trap adhered to the thinner interior of the bag; the long side hanging over about two-thirds the length. A tongue adhered to each wall of the trap’s void, and to them, fastened agape, a one-gallon bag. For disguise, a bauble, a gift bow, and wrapping tissue sealed in sight to the top of the trap, and a half-hearted gift placed in the leftover space. This treacherous contraption was first trialed at an Asian banquet.

Upon entry, the Beliar received not even a glance of examination by the strict mistress playing host. Though the device benefits greatly from use in a booth seat for reasons surely obvious, our party was condemned to a table. I sat myself against a wall, placing the device on the ground between myself and the seat to my right.

The feasting hall provided small bowls with handles, intended primarily for soups. The design of these bowls was attractive as they could be handled with ease and could hold a modest donation. My method was simple: engorge the bowl at the spread, bring it to the Beliar, gently lean down, open the trap, and turn the bowl over into the hungry maw.

Over the course, and with no challenge, my final return was three bowls of lo mein, one bowl of chicken and broccoli, and ten crab cheese wontons; the wontons delivered, in pairs, by hand. The trial was an unequivocal success, yielding three modest additional meals, and sowing seed for future iteration.

While still in construct, I pondered tupperware, but chose a bag as it doubled the theoretical capacity of my fitting tupperware and I was to gauge the efficiency loss. In practice, at my measured rate of appropriation, I had only managed to fill the bag to match the capacity of the tupperware anyhow. A more aggressive collector, perhaps in a booth, could better fill a one-gallon bag, or could consider a large, non-standard plastic container.

The efficacy of the Beliar is bound to the tolerance for intermingling victuals. In this run, intention was used to select that which could reasonably amalgamate, with the wontons salvageable for later rejuvination in an oven, to which I can personally attest is not mere conjecture. Relatedly, if you were to remove the gift, you would sacrifice your insuring deceit, but could then seat multiple separate recepticles, granting additional capacity and the ability to separate unmixables.

The mechanical realism of the trap door was a greater challenge than anticipated. Due to the required synchronization to both open the trap and handle the food, it leans a two-hand operation. To compound: the disguising tissue easily becomes stained, damaging both the device and your subterfuge. I have insight to a ridiculous but effective improvement involving fishing wire.